Bridge Jumper -- August 12, 2017
BRIDGE JUMPER
Warning: Let me warn you that this blog entry is morbid in nature. If discussion of dead bodies bothers you, stop reading now.
Usually when I use the term "bridge jumper" I refer to a bet like the no safety in the Superbowl. They call them bridge jumpers because you have to lay about 8 to 1 odds. If you win, which you expect to do, you mostly just get your own money back, so it doesn't mean much to you. However, when you lose, you feel like jumping off a bridge. Especially after the fourth safety in seven consecutive Super Bowls, but that is another story. On Sunday I saw the body of a real life bridge jumper. I was doing the Black Canyon kayak trip, which Lisa wrote an article about in 2009. This trip is one of my favorite activities in Vegas and I highly recommend it for anybody who is in decent shape. This was about the 5th time I've done it, this time with my boot camp group.
When Desert Adventures took us down to the launch site at 6:00 AM I helped carry the kayaks from the trailer to the beach. Most guests helped to carry their own kayak but some were not strong enough so I made multiple trips. Meanwhile, everybody else was evidently claiming one and launching. In the end, there were about 25 guests and 24 spots in the kayaks. Guess who didn't get one? The guy who was the most helpful lugging them to the beach. File that under no good deed goes unpunished.
The staff was very apologetic and said they had never seen that happen before. After making some calls, they said they would have to take me back to the Hoover Dam Lodge and I could launch with the 7:00 AM group. Due to dam rules, I could not just wait by the beach by myself. Without any choice, that is what I did. Let the record show that the company later sent me an Email saying they put a $65 credit in my name towards a future trip (the total cost is around $100). When I finally get back to the spot I started a couple in a tandem kayak from the 6:00 AM group was just off the shore and warned us there was a dead body floating in the river. The staff let me go first and I said I didn't mind the dead body in the river. The 6:00 AM couple suggested I stay far to the left of the river if I didn't want to get close to the body.
About five minutes later, I saw a lump floating in the river. Per the advice I was given, I paddled around it as far as I could and at a pretty good speed. There was no way to tell it was a human body from this distance but I assumed that it was. I then met up with the rest of my group and we took a side trip to the Gold Strike hot spring. The hot spring was totally washed out, by the way, due to recent flash floods. This was true of the other two hot springs along the trip as well. However, we still spent about an hour exploring up the canyon, hoping to find a pool deep enough to sit in, but never did. During this hour the dead body was quite the topic of conversation. I felt a bit left out of it because I went by it so far and fast. Eventually, with a 4:00 deadline to keep in mind, we got back in our kayaks.
Shortly after more paddling downstream I notice a familiar looking lump floating in the water. Sure enough it was Mr. Body* again. He floated past Gold Strike Canyon while were were exploring it, giving us the opportunity for a second viewing. After hearing so much talk about it I couldn't resist getting a close look this second time around.
So, I trepidly got closer and closer until I could at least see that it was a human being. His position was back in the air and his face turned at an angle away from me and half in the water. From this point, I could see he had nappy** dark hair, indicating that he was probably black. I then looked into the crystal clear water and could see bloated legs and an arm dangling there. The only clothing that I could tell were cargo shorts. About 75% of his skin had peeled off, revealing a morbid pale layer under the skin. The legs and arms were at unnatural angles that not even the highest yoga masters would be able to achieve. There could be no other likely explanation to his death than jumping off the Mike O'Callaghan–Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge, which is just south of the Hoover Dam. I suspect his bones and joints were all shattered in the fall, explaining why his bloated extremities were at very unnatural angles. At least I couldn't see the face, which fortunately remained turned away from me.
I heard that another guest called 911 to report the body when it was seen the first time. About two hours after this call would have been made a ranger boat came up the river at a fairly high speed with a siren visibly but not audibly on. A pontoon boat followed it but that may have just been a coincidence. From a distance we watched two or three people in the ranger boat get out what was either a huge orange tarp or bag and try to scoop up the body with it. We were rather far away so it was hard to tell how they were going to go about it. After about ten minutes later we headed back down the river while they were still evidently fussing with the the orange tarp/bag. I imagine they would have needed a crane to lift the body into the boat as it was obviously very bloated, which I think ranger boats are equipped with.
Sometime much later in the afternoon we saw what looked like the same ranger boat heading downriver. I couldn't tell if it was the same boat that scooped up the body as they probably have more than one at Willow Beach that look the same. There was no sign of the big orange tarp/bag on it. Back at Willow Beach the guides who picked us up said that he was indeed a bridge jumper. They were apologetic that we had to see that but it clearly wasn't their fault. The driver of my passenger van said that he has encountered dead bodies before on the trip but they were always stuck on the side of the river somewhere and this was the first time one was just floating down in the middle. The news doesn't mention jumpers from the bridge much. I tend to think the Park Service likes to keep such stories quiet.
After the day's adventure, my boot camp group stopped at the Boulder Dam Brewing Company, where we had much deserved beers and bar food. There we made a toast to "Bob," a name another guest attributed to Mr. Jumper. Another guest shared some very close shots he took of the body. I took only a few from a far distance but these photos were taken within a few feet of the body and saw more disturbing angles than I saw earlier, including his ear, which looked tiny compared to the bloated head it was on. No, I didn't ask for copies, which would have been easy to send me as the pictures were taken with a cell phone. Very clear and colorful pictures too, taken with a late model Android. They made the body look more morbid than it really was. After dinner we all went back to our respective homes with a good story to tell.
Footnotes:
* Mr. Body is also the name used to refer to the murder victim in the board game Clue.
** I hope this term is still politically correct. To those who disagree, please read Happy to Be Nappy.